Coupl'a dollars short, coupl'a days late.

Yesterday (Monday) I remembered that I usually do this on Sunday. Now I am two days late. Ouch, this memory thing gets scarier by the day!!

Thanksgiving break was nice and oh-so needed but somehow it just didn't seem long enough. I had two days "off" and the rest of them were filled up with travel, family, class and work. Two days is better than nothing! Had a great time with my family and was going to sign a story for them it just never happened. Perhaps at Christmas.

Went to Deaf club in Pittsburgh Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. That will be an interesting discussion for our ethics class. I met some more nice people and had a great time. Hope to get back there again. One student blew me away with her signing skills. I never got the opportunity to ask her background but she went on about her being in ASL 1 and me being in 5. Hell, for a while she talked to a woman and I just watched the conversation, my hands obviously in my lap. That is why I am there - to get experience, so I sucked it up and talked with people for hours as well.

One interesting experience I had - which is a great lesson - was the reversal of being pushed aside and spoken for. When I would sign to people and they were unclear about something, instead of letting me continue and learn, this one woman would wave me away and talk to the person I was talking to. Come on! That is why I am there! Even though it annoyed me I used it as an experiential learning situation in how to not treat my clients, rather, no treat any other person.

My brain is less numb but still seriously tired. I hate to rush winter break but at the same time I need some respite, rest and repose.

Hm, did that even make sense!? Haha!

April - I am worried about you. I hope you can hold it together and get back on your feet quickly and fully recover during winter break.

Wring me out and hang me to dry.

Simply said: I am exhausted. But really, is anything ever really "simple"? This break could not come quick enough.

I didn't mind the fusion cooking. I never "mind" any piece. I internalize my anxiety. When we were done with it and looked around the room the color of our faces was scary. Karla told me I was an odd shade of green; I think she was worried about me.

While we did work on the Softball assignment mostly together, I was compelled to watch it for my own glossing. I certainly couldn't have done it on my own - this I know!! I didn't agree with some of the vocabulary used and that was allowable - we all had different opinions on these things. Doing it stole so much time. I turned it in without completely finding the expansions only because my brain was jell-o and my insides were numb. I will revisit this and look for them on my own. On a bright note - I was so excited when I spotted one of them (a describe then do). Suddenly it clicked. Momentarily, but it was there!

When Ruby volunteered us to interpret for the meeting on Friday I felt sick. I knew we could do it and that she and April knew we could. I even thanked her for having the confidence in us. (But I did have to ask her again the sign for confidence...) All I wanted was to wait until after Thanksgiving break. I was so worn out I couldn't speak in English - imagine trying to listen to the meaning and put it out there in ASL. On the walk up that morning I looked at Karla's great coat and said "Nice dress". Put in the knife and twist it. Add a little lime and salt, too. It sickened me that I did so poorly. Even in the basics as wearing the wrong color. Crap.

I'll tell you one thing for certain. As disappointed as I am with myself, I am not afraid to climb back up on this horse and try it again. I am looking forward to it, really. But please - can we wait till I have recovered!?!

And I am so tired

If only I could rest

If only I could die – oh!

To be buried in the soft brown earth

In the garden beyond the pinewoods

To have no yesterday and no tomorrow

To forget time

To be at peace.

--The Canterville Ghost

And the panic begins...

The other girls panic from day one, I keep mine on hold until later. Much later, as in soon.

I don't know that I have much new this week. Mid-terms come so quickly, but it is this time period in which I really feel the drain. I continue to learn, but my brain is tired from the lessons. I certainly don't want anything to stop! I just know that I am looking forward to Thanksgiving break in a week. Even those days are largely accounted for and I don't know that I will have enough "free" time. However, some is always better than none. I will be happy with some.

I am glad April got sick enough to go to the doctor's office. I hated seeing her so pale and sounding so lousy. It is inevitable, going there, right? Ha, me, the classic procrastinator, giving advice! I must be cracking!

Well, no matter. My day was complete when Maddie came and gave me a fantastic hug this afternoon when she was told to say hi. Both she and Calvin are precious.

Okay, enough lolly-gagging, back to Softball. Can you hear me whimper?

Foggy Countdown

Well, this counting up and then backward seemed like a good idea, but some days I feel the panic as the numbers have started getting smaller.

Eleven down, seven to go. Wow.

"Softball" has been a very education experience. As we didn't gloss in the past, catching every sign as well as trying to catch NMS and POV shows me what I should be aiming for when signing. With practice, and practical use, it will come. The teamwork has been good for us and no one has yet threatened jumping off of the bridge due to the "wait, go back" we have said and done hundreds of times.

I have enjoyed the directions and games chapter in ASL V and it will feel weird going back to lecture and the usual. Phase 10 and Bananagrams rock! And I didn't completely suck at Gestures. Amazing.

I am sorry that I missed Deaf Club yesterday. The afternoon spent sleeping and relaxing was, unfortunately, so needed. Plus, my brain was already jell-o after my math class yesterday morning. I am trying to plan another trip to visit with the Pittsburgh Association of the Deaf. Time will tell.

There should be more, yet I can't come up with it today.

Ciao.